So according to various answers I've seen here, if I want to open docs in a client app I need SharePoint OpenDocuments Class ENABLED, but if I want to open docs in the browser, I need it DISABLED.
This just isn't feasible in the real world.
I realize this is one of the limitations of trying to bridge between desktop programs and cloud stored files rather than offering hosted programs (as a true cloud solution does), but isn't there a better solution than these conflicting answers?